" Kinfolk Bitterness?"

My mother was 30 years old when she started suffering from cancer. During those times I remember her briefly speaking about her parents. Her father was a hard worker and lived in Georgia. But I could sense there was some kind of bitterness about him she did not want to speak about. She also would tell me the stories over and over about her Mother’s death as well as one of her sisters, that stemmed from cancer. Her details made it seem like the offense had happened just days ago as she spoke about it. She'd retold the story so many times she had memorized every tidbit. 

One message came through loud and clear; she never wanted me to forget about death due from cancer. I often thought she shared it was for medical reason so my siblings and I would always get checked. But it also, raised the question, Was it bitterness? Did She never forgive the sickness of cancer? Why did the iniquity withhold her from speaking about it up until then; losing the love of a mom and a sister? I know she did not blame God because she would often remind me, “remember God has promised to “Never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). 

Like a magnet, this story of “Kinfolk Bitterness" pulled me back into all her hurt, bias for bitterness that lasted with me for a long time. What say You?

Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. “So how can we do that? How can we prevent bitterness from moving into our hearts? How can we deal with our feelings instead of letting them grow into bitterness?

Bitterness starts out small. An offense digs its way into our hearts. We replay it in our minds, creating deep ruts that will be hard to build back up. We retell our hurts to any available listener, including each grungy detail. We enlist support, pushing us further into our resentment. We hear the offending person’s or things name and cringe.

Bitterness is resentful cynicism that results in an intense hatred or hostility toward others. The Bible teaches us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” It then goes on to tell us how to deal with such bitterness and its fruits by being “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” Ephesians 4:31-32.

As an adjective, the word bitter means “sharp like an arrow or pungent to the taste, disagreeable; venomous.” The idea is that of the poisonous water given to the women who were suspected of committing adultery in Numbers 5:18: “The bitter water that brings a curse.” In its figurative sense, bitterness refers to a mental or emotional state that corrodes or “eats away at.” Bitterness can affect one experiencing profound grief or anything that acts on the mind in the way poison acts on the body. Bitterness is that state of mind that willfully holds on to angry feelings, ready to take offense, able to break out in anger at any moment.

The foremost danger in succumbing to bitterness and allowing it to rule our hearts is that it is a spirit that refuses reconciliation. As a result, bitterness leads to wrath, which is the explosion on the outside of the feelings on the inside. Such unbridled wrath and anger often lead to “brawling,” which is the brash self-absorption of an angry person who needs to make everyone hear his grievances. Another evil brought on by bitterness is slander. As used in Ephesians 4, it is not referring to blasphemy against God or merely slander against men, but to any speech springing from anger and designed to wound or injure others.

All this then leads to a spirit of meanness, which signifies evil-mindedness or feelings of intense hatred. This kind of attitude is fleshly and devilish in its influences. Meanness is a deliberate attempt to harm another person. Therefore, “every form of nastiness” must be done away with Ephesians 4:31. 

The person who is bitter is often resentful, cynical, harsh, cold, relentless, and unpleasant to be around. Any expression of these characteristics is sin against God; they are of the flesh, not of His Spirit Galatians 5:19-21. Hebrews 12:15warns us to “see to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” We must always be wary of allowing “bitter roots” to grow in our hearts; such roots will cause us to fall short of the grace of God. God wills that His people live in love, joy, peace, and holiness—not in bitterness. Therefore, the believer must always watch diligently, being on guard against the dangers of bitterness.

Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." And I may add, everything. So how can we do that? How can we prevent bitterness from moving into our hearts? How can we deal with our feelings instead of letting them grow into bitterness?

Jesus said to them, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). 

God Bless You and This Ministry!